In the 1990’s there were very few women in senior positions in corporate Australia. As one of those corporate executive women, I wanted to understand why? I decided to do my own anecdotal research, which is not academically valid however has served me well during my career.
I asked one question to men, repeated in various ways, over the last 20 years. It was not a question you asked cold but a question that could be asked once rapport was built. It was “what men feared most about women in business?” What was amazing was that the themes were the same though expressed in different ways.
Interestingly as a part of the conversation it became very clear that they were not concerned that women may be more intelligent than them. As a female I often found I had to pass a series of unspoken tests to ensure I have the capacity to do the job. I would be interested to know if men still felt the same and if so how those tests may be different. This is a question for another day.
From our conversations there were two key themes that men feared most about women. Firstly, men did not want to be de-emasculated by women particularly in front of their male peers. It is something most women intuitively understand at a personal level although it sounds quite “cave” like. Secondly, they are concerned women may not tough it out when times become difficult. If they accept them as a part of the team can they then rely on them to stay?
This was highlighted further through some very masculine language. Some men said they did not want to work with women who were “ball breakers”. Nor did they want to work with women who did not have the “balls” to do the job. This seemed to summarise the key points in a nutshell, excusing the pun.
One thing that became clear was men did not want women to behave as men. In fact if they were seen to behave like men, like using foul language, or trying to be one of the boys would not be respected. Respect for women was important. Secondly, if women wanted to be a part of the team, they had to be mentally tough and not give up.
It was insights like these that have helped me to reflect on how to have my voice heard and be respected as an equal player in the boardroom. This is often easier said than done. When I was employed as the Director of HR of a large company I was jokingly called “the experiment” for the first eighteen months of my employment.
It was particularly difficult during that time, however, the lessons I had learnt during my conversations with men during my career, combined with capability won the day. When my boss resigned from the company he was asked at his farewell function what was the best decision he ever made? He said employing me. That was two years after I left. It is a compliment that I am humbled by, but more importantly it emphasises the value of different voices at the table.
In 2016 I continue to work in the corporate world coaching both men and women, and facilitate executive and leadership forums. From my observations in this role, not a lot has changed specifically related to gender and age politics. Part of the reason, not the whole reason, why men continue to dominate the boardroom is that both genders are often guided by stereotypes and assumptions. Unintentionally those assumptions have been reinforced by and embedded through mandatory policies, quotas and often poorly delivered diversity training without relevant social data. Once the process becomes an “arse covering” ,“box ticking” exercise the silence of political correctness kills any chance of diversity and any real change.
I have heard many discrimination stories particularly from both genders and different age groups and know more than others being a woman over fifty how discrimination works. I could relay stories that could horrify surprise or amuse you in disbelief.
For example there are more people over 50 working on for the dole schemes than people under 22. The age group most likely to get depression are men between 45 and 65. Have you considered what chance a male HR professional in Australia has of getting the top job when the most search firms scope are women 38 to 40 who have had their children? It is totally politically incorrect but a reality for people in the know.
Can you imagine what would happen if we had genuine facilitated conversation about how and why diversity adds value to the business and our lives? Can you imagine having honest conversations about what each gender admires and fears most about the other? Can you imagine each gender and age groups telling stories about how they have experienced inequality? Then can you imagine what might change and how appropriate policies and processes may be put in place?
I truly believe, from personal experience, that it is possible if everything else is equal that there are key ingredients to accelerating the diversity debate. They are: people are more likely to be successful if they have the appropriate level of intelligence to do the job; they are mentally tough when times get tough to stay the distance; they are comfortable in their own skin and importantly, have insights and empathy into others fears and aspirations across the diversity divide.
It’s conversations, facilitated debates and sharing “real” stories, which will develop the empathy that will progress the diversity debate. HR policies, half hearted diversity training and tedious data collecting for big brother purposes may only ticks boxes. It is not to say these vehicles don’t play a part, if used effectively and in association with debate. Only the engagement of both hearts and minds will make a significant difference.
