There was a study that was completed many years ago where researchers visited over 60,000 people who were dying across the world. They asked them what they valued the most in their lives. Not surprisingly it was their relationships. When asked what they regretted the most it was being more concerned about “other things” like cars and status rather than building and repairing relationships.
I would expect if that survey was repeated today not a lot would have changed.Though this may be evolving as a recent survey showed that more than 50% of people would prefer physical harm than losing their phone. Irrespective most people would agree positive relationships can provide much needed oxygen to our human spirits. Can you imagine life without each other?
Yet how much time do we choose to invest in our modern-day relationships? How often do we treat relationships as almost disposable and manage them only on our terms?
A recent research study found that in the western world we spend on average 34 minutes a day communicating with people face to face, yet we spend three hours a day on average watching TV. We apparently love our Netflix or streaming services these days with international sales up 34% in 2019.At the same time, it is almost socially unacceptable not to indicate you are busy when asked how you are.
If relationships are so important to us, are we investing enough quality time in developing them? Here is a quick quiz. Tick the box if you do, or expect the following:
Texting
You get a text from a loved one. You send back a photo of a glass of wine indicating your busy or something similar.
Emojis are now your new best friend.
Texts are two words.
You respond only when it works for you.
Phone calls
Don’t answer the phone when you don’t know the number. (must be a scam)
Don’t answer the phone when you do know the number. (no time now)
Don’t phone. Texting is easier and you don’t have to talk.
Know you should return a call from a friend but don’t.
Family meals
Have family meals with the TV on.
Answer the phone while at the table
Have family meals without any devices at the table.
Have a family meal at least once a week without devices at the table.
Expectations.
Do you expect your Doctor to look at you when asking questions about your health or type answers on his computer instead?
Do you expect time with your manager without technology interrupting your conversations?
Do you expect that someone will cancel your catch up, if they get a better offer? This has a name it is called “shopping” for the best offer in NY.
Do you expect your children to lookup from their devices when you are talking to them?
Expect anyone to talk to you on public transport or in the lift?
Do you enjoy getting a coffee in the morning because your barrister talks to you and remembers your order?
Having now answered these questions, if you were asked on your death bed what you valued the most and what you regretted the most, would relationships be part of your answer?
Would there be any regrets if you thought people considered your relationships with them as disposable and only on your terms?
If so, what actions could you now take to develop or re-establish relationships? Would you consider rethinking how you may change some of your answers to this quiz?Food for thought.
Feel free to share.
